The Irish sense of humour is legendary. The Irish joke is an international institution. This is another selection of jokes from Appletree Press' The Bumper Irish Joke Book by Terry Adlam.
They had a comedy night in the local pub and an Irishman wasn't impressed because of all the Irish jokes being told. By the time of the last act he had had enough.
'Oy,' shouted the Irishman. 'Stop the Irish jokes. You're making us all out to be a bunch of stupid eejits. In fact, if you tell another Irish joke, I'm coming up there and I'm gonna knock yer block off.'
Obviously taken aback the ventriloquist started to apologise. 'I'm very sorry…'
'You keep out of it!' shouted the Irishman. 'I'm talking to the little fella on yer knee.'
An Irishman walked into his local barbers and asked how much a haircut was.
'Five pounds,' said the barber.
The Irishman thought for a while and then asked, 'How much for a shave?'
'That's only a pound,' replied the barber.
'OK then,' said the Irishman, 'shave me head.'
A group of young Irish boys had formed their own tenpiece Rhythm and Blues band and were playing their first gig. The lead singer was very excited by the event and asked one of the sax players to go outside and listen to what they sounded like.
Sure enough the saxophonist went outside and after while came running back, very excited.
'You should hear it!' he said excitedly. 'It sounds brilliant!'
So the whole band went out to listen…
'So,' said Arthur Noon-Matinee, the well-known theatrical agent, to an Irishman. 'You do bird impressions.'
'That's right, Sir,' replied the Irishman.
'And what do you do exactly?' Sir Arthur asked. 'Nightingale, Skylark, Chaffinch?'
'No Sir,' said the Irishman. 'I eat worms.'
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